I had a dream that I was talking to two spirits. They said something like, “You think you want to see spirit, but you have no idea what you are asking.” The implication was that to actually see the world of spirit would be devastating. It was a You-Can’t-Handle-The-Truth moment, although their words didn’t come across as patronizing. It was more like being bitch-slapped. I wondered briefly, well, how then am I able to see you? But then I decided to let that question go for the moment. I wasn’t about to get into a semantic argument with these two.
Nevertheless, I was not put off so easily. I am nothing if not determined. I adopted what I thought to be a pragmatic tone and–
“You should have been a lawyer,” says Mr. Octopus.
“Yes! A spirit-lawyer. I could interact on behalf of us dumb humans.”
“Yet another genius idea. Right up there with your psychic restaurant scheme.”
“That was an awesome idea! You come in for a psychic reading and get a meal with the foods you need for your specific area of healing and—”
“Great. What if the prescription involves yak tongue? Can’t just run to the Shop-N-Stop for yak tongue.”
“Well, I haven’t got the kinks all worked out yet, but it’s a money-maker.”
Anyway, back to the dream. Yeah, so I told those spirits, look. Fine. I accept that I am not equipped to see the realm of spirit, but (and here my voice betrayed me) I cried, “I have to know you are here in order to do this!” This, meaning, keep on living.
It’s not that I’m suicidal or anything. I like cherries in the summertime. It’s just that in that moment, I could not conceive of taking another breath, another step without some sort of link to the other side. I mean, I was like, really, if there is no such thing as a spirit, what’s the fucking point?
The next morning I woke up and took Mr. Chulo up to park as usual. There I ran into a neighbor. We chatted, though briefly. Not for lack of conversation, but because her dog is old and rather curmudgeonly and doesn’t take kindly to other dogs so I drifted off with Mr. Chulo and his frisbee when suddenly she called me back. She said she had something for me and handed me a four-leaf clover.
My reaction to this gesture of kindness probably freaked her out. I gushed to her about my dream the night before. How I had asked spirit for a sign of their presence and here she is giving me a four-leaf clover! I took it as an affirmation of my dream. I had often searched in vain for four-leaf clovers as a child, and, like with spirit, questioned whether or not they really existed.
At that point, my neighbor inserted that she was an interpreter of dreams. That she had attended a school of metaphysics and does healing work. I was like, dude! Freakin’ jackpot! For two years, I’ve been living next to another spirit-lover and didn’t know it! And now this! I was so grateful about the whole thing, I immediately went to my shrine and offered up the clover to my ancestors.
This happened about a month ago. Then one day, I was up on my step-ladder attending to my closet shrine and realized that the clover was gone. I must have knocked it off when I was cleaning. It’s pretty dark up there. Anyway, no worries. Since the incident with my neighbor I have found five, yes five four-leaf clovers. And, Cyrille has started finding them too.
So we started eating them.
But not without making a wish first.
There will be magic.